It has been a little over 12 years since I joined the Navy and left everything and everyone I know back home.

The young man inside me longs for those old moments with friends and family where I didn’t have to worry about anything. Those moments where ignorance was bliss and the struggles of REAL LIFE, I just didn’t need to worry about.

And my loved ones…It takes a different kind of man to do what we do as Military members….as Sailors. I wish wasn’t this type of man or this type of person…because as I sit in this quiet place, in this foreign room, thinking about the many friends I miss, and the many family and friendly functions I am absent from…I can’t help but think “Why, me, God?”

There has to be a reason for this madness…I hope that I am helping someone; I hope I am making some difference somewhere…All the while I’m being alienated from my children. This is a tough pill to swallow, but the way my life was going, they would not be taken care of the way I desired them to be taken care of.

Another tough pill I have to swallow is not having my sister, V around anymore. I can’t believe, I have nightmares about her every week. I try not to blame Navy Service on me not seeing her as much as I would have liked to, because, in hindsight, there are many things that I could’ve done different. The reality of that statement is as cold as this Chicago wind out here.

The life of a Navy Sailor is one that will be engulfed in prestige, honor, and much fortune. This same Sailor will be also endure the feelings of worthlessness, humiliation, and loneliness. As life goes on, so does that Sailor, albeit, out of sight, and away from what is normal to them.

Please remember your Sailors. Remember your family and friend…They need it…

Out of all of the great experiences I have had in the Navy…out of 12 years, the most I can say, is that I am super grateful to everyone that I have met throughout my career and my friends and family that has been around since before I ever joined the Military Service.

Not sure if anyone else has ever felt like this, but my heart goes out to all of those who can relate to this…Stay strong, because this military life doesn’t stay like this forever!

-Tone